1. Wake up several times during the night. She misses you and wants to see you...for no apparent reason. Make sure only Mommy hears the cries...Daddy has to work in the morning.
2. You know that Daddy went to work early today. Mommy must be lonely and doesn't really want to shower and get ready all by herself. Call her into your room with a fake cry...for no apparent reason.
3. Repeatedly throw your lovey in hard to reach places. Mommy wants you to be attached to this thing in the silliest way possible...don't give up...she'll keep getting it for you because she loves you (or wants to get just a few hours of uninterrupted sleep).
4. While she's fixing a meal, don't leave her alone...she really wants you hanging on her pant leg. It actually makes her work quicker.
5. Keep losing your sippy cups. Don't worry that there's milk in there that could spoil. Mommy loves you so much that she'll keep looking for it until she finds it.
6. When she's getting dressed...stare at her breasts like you're hungry. It makes her laugh hysterically!
7. When Mommy is changing your diaper, remember to stick your hands down here as soon as she removes the dirty diaper. It's warm and squishy and Mommy doesn't mind cleaning the poop off your hands...she's already cleaning it off your tushie. No worries!
8. When Mommy is reading you a book, make sure to get as close to her face as possible. It doesn't matter that she can't read the pages, she's probably already memorized the book from reading it a million times. She's cool like that.
9. If you're done with what you're eating, clear your tray using your entire arm. Not only does it send a clear message that you're finished, but it makes room for dessert.
10. Whatever you do, realize that consistency is the key to making this relationship work. No matter how many times she tells you to stay out of the toybox, keep your fingers out of the outlets, not to push your sibling, and not to touch the dog's eyeball, she's really just looking for boundaries. Make sure you set clear and consistent boundaries that your mother will respect. Eventually, it will lead to an open and loving relationship that will continue for years to come.