Sunday, January 3, 2010

Well, Happy New Year to Hailey

For New Year's Day we were going to visit my Daddy's family in PA at my Aunt Christine and Uncle Ryan's house. The drive is about 1.5 hours, so Matt and I figured that we would take a little snooze on the way up and be set for the day. It was perfect sleeping weather...not too sunny and Mommy and Daddy had the heat just right. I woke up a little early from my nap. I'd say we had about 30 minutes left in our trip (pretty smart for a 16-month old, right?). All of the sudden, something happened.

Hailey: whine, whine, whine
Daddy: Is she okay?
Mommy: Yeah...probably just sick of being in the car. She's fine.
Hailey: whine, whine, wine
Daddy: Are you sure?
Mommy: Yup...she's just bored. I'll give her a sippy of water.
Hailey: slurp, slurp, slurp, whine, whine, whine
Mommy: Okay, maybe she's more bored than thirsty. I'll give her my keys...that works every time.
Hailey: Oh, yay...keys...wait a minute...cough, gag, cough, gag, puke, gag, cough, cry, cry, cry, cry.
Daddy: Are you sure she's okay?
Mommy (now putting lipstick on): Probably...they've been doing this fake choking thing...give it a minute. Since she's crying, I can tell she's breathing...she's fine.
Hailey: crying....waaaaahhhhh...someone look back here...something terrible has happened!!!
Mommy (continuing to put her lipstick on...what's with this woman?): Wait a minute...pull over at that welcome center. She puked.
Daddy: She what? How do you know? Suddenly, the smell hit him. in the world did you see the Welcome Center? I've never seen that before.
Mommy: I don't know...Mommy Vision, I guess.
Hailey: Ummm...can someone please do something? There is gross stuff all over me!
Matthew (just waking up): What's going on? What is that smell? Gross!!!

Car stops and Mommy and Daddy get out to survey the damage. Mommy starts giving directions and Daddy jumps right in to help Hailey.

Hailey: whine, sniff, whine, sniff...this is really disgusting Mommy. Please help me.
Mommy: Okay, baby...we're going to get you out of here. I just need to remove this huge chunk of cheese stick from you first (Hailey has started to shove her food down when she sees Matt coming...he steals it). Oh, this is smells horrible.
Daddy: I'm going to take the stroller out of the trunk so you can change her there. Then I'll finish cleaning up her seat.
Mommy: Okay, Hailey. We've got to get you out of the seat, so just don't touch anything (lotta good that was everywhere).
Hailey: I'll do my best...where are we going anyway? It's freezing outside and I'm soaked in my own vomit. Could this day get any worse?
Mommy: Stand here for a little while (putting Hailey on the ground), I've got to remove larger chunks before I can get your shirt off.
Hailey: Okay, but this is a little scary. It's windy and cold and there are huge trucks all over the place.
Truck: Psssssshhhhhhttttttt.....farty sound that trucks make for some reason.
Mommy: Great...exactly what we needed. Ewwww...don't touch me too much. I brought another outfit for you, but not for me.
Matt: What is going on? Why am I the only one in the car? I wanna get out!
Mommy: Okay, Hailey, we're going to get changed in the trunk.
Hailey: But it's frigid out want to take all of my clothes off in the trunk while it's freezing cold and there are people all around? Forget it! I'm going to start resisting right now...this has got to be some form of child abuse, right?
Mommy: Please calm down...we have to do it this way. Daddy turned the heat up and I'll work as quickly as I can.

Mommy proceeded to wrestle with me to get my clothes off. Trust was freezing cold. My lips were shivering and I was totally embarrassed. She had to take EVERYTHING off...including my onesie. Is there no dignity left in this world?

Mommy: Okay, all done.
Daddy: Okay, I got the car seat mostly cleaned up. Thank God you stash wet ones all over the place. I always thought you were a little nuts for doing that.
Hailey: Did I mention that I'm still freezing? Ahhhh...thanks Mom. Thanks so much for packing a really warm blanket.
Matt: Are we almost done here? I'm bored and I'm not getting any of the attention. I'm going to start crying now.

Mommy brought me into the front seat so that I could warm up. The hot air was blowing right into my face, but between that and my blanket, it was great. Plus, I thought that she was going to let me ride the rest of the way in her seat. That would be awesome. I got to see lots of dogs too...I guess other people know about this Welcome Center too! Matt was so jealous...

Daddy (coming back from the bathroom): Is she alright? Let's get back on the road.
Mommy: Okay, Hailey go with Daddy and get buckled in.
Matt: Can someone give me some freaking attention??? Give me a pretzel or something! I'm bored!!!!
Hailey: Mmmm...a pretzel sounds good. Can I have one too?
Mommy: Do you think we should give Hailey one?
Daddy: Sure...gotta test her out. How did you see this place? We've driven this tons of times and I've never seen it!
Mommy: I don't must be like a superhero strength. Smell puke...find place to stop.

The worst part of this whole ordeal was that I couldn't match Matt. We both had on Penn State sweatshirts and we looked so cute. Oh well...I guess there was nothing I could do about it. Mommy spent most of the remainder of the trip cleaning off her keys...sorry, Mom! At least you had your lipstick on!


Brandi said...

Hahahahaha! Great post!

edie & ella said...

I canNOT stop laughing....too funny!!!