I Think I Like What You're Wearing...

I got both babies dressed today and they took a minute to size each other up (meaning they started at each other for a couple of minutes for no particular reason...just staring). Here's my version of what was going on in their heads:

M: Hailey, do you like my outfit?
H: I don't know...isn't it a little butch?
M: I'm a BOY!!!
H: Oh, it makes more sense now...what's a boy?
M: I don't know, but being one means that I get to wear clothing that has footballs on it and that's cool.
H: Okay, whatever...what about mine?
M: It's a little old for you, isn't it?
H: What do you mean?
M: Well, the whole rosebud pattern? It's a little old lady-ish.
H: I see what you mean, but I think I can get away with it b/c I look so young.
M: You do look young.
H: Thanks...I eat a lot of Omega-3 fatty acids.
M: Well, it's doing well for you.
H: So, you never told me whether or not you like it.
M: Well, I wouldn't wear it, but you're really doing it justice.
H: Thanks...now, let's start whining again so Mommy will sing more songs!

Maybe She'll Just Leave Me Here

M: whine, whine...Mommy, I think I'm ready for my nap. Oh, but I'm so comfortable here in my bouncy chair.
Mommy: Okay, looks like you guys are getting ready for naps. I'll go make sure your room is ready.
H: Matt, don't fall asleep yet...Mommy is coming back down for us.
M: Yeah, but this chair is so comfortable. Maybe I'll just close my eyes.
H: whine, whine...I want to fall asleep too, but I can't with all this swinging...don't fall asleep.
M: I'm not...I'm just pretending to sleep...maybe she'll just leave me here.
Mommy: Okay, guys...ready for naps? Oh! Matt, did you already fall asleep.
H: whine...no, he didn't...he's just pretending.
M: Hailey, why'd you make me smile! She almost bought it!
H: Couldn't let you get away with it...I want us to nap at the same time...I don't want you to have any extra time with Mommy.
Mommy: Matthew...I saw that smile...were you just pretending?
M: Hmmmm...yeah...let's go up to sleep...
Mommy: I love you guys!

Are you still there?

7:00 PM - put babies down.

Mommy: Good night...we love you.
Daddy: Good night...sweet dreams.
Hailey (after door closes): Matt...Matt!
Matthew: What? I was already falling asleep!
Hailey: Where do they go when they leave our room?
Matthew: I don't know...probably downstairs?
Hailey: Are you sure?
Matthew: No, but I don't really care...as long as they don't wake me up, I'm happy. They come when we need them anyway. What are you worried about?
Hailey: Nothing really...I just miss them.
Matthew: I'm going to sleep...this is ridiculous.
Hailey: Yeah, I guess I'll try to sleep too. Oh crap...now I've gone and gotten out of my swaddle and can't stop rubbing my eyes...it's keeping me from falling to sleep, but I can't stop doing it!
Matthew: Don't know what to tell you...call Mommy.
Hailey: Yeah...good idea. WAHHHHHHH!!!!

12:00 AM
Hailey (to herself): Hmmm...I'm awake. I don't know why I'm awake, but it sure is dark in here. What happened to the light that Mommy and Daddy left on? It's kind of scary, but I can handle it. I miss Mommy...I wonder what she's doing right now. I think I'll call her. WAAAAHHHHHH!!!
Mommy: Hailey (big smile from Hailey as she throws her legs and arms in the air in the anticipation of being picked up and played with), it's time to go back to sleep. I'm going to wrap you back up so you can go back to sleep.
Hailey: I don't think so woman! Play with me! Play with me! Play with me!
Mommy: Mommy loves you...get some sleep.
Hailey: Well, at least I know she's close by. I think I will go back to sleep...it's so warm and cuddly when she wraps me up!

2:00 AM
Hailey (to herself): Hmmmm...I'm awake again. What to do? What to do? I don't know what to do...there aren't any toys in my crib. They keep this thing more bare than a prison cell. Stupid SIDS...it's ruined all of the fun for the other kids. I'll chew on my blanket for a little while and I can talk to myself at the same time...good times!
Chew, grunt, chew, sing, chew, sneeze, chew, call Matthew, chew, call Daddy, chew, call Mommy, chew, call Matthew even louder.
Matthew: WHAT??? I'm sleeping!!!
Hailey: Wanna play?
Matthew: What are you talking about? We can't play...we can barely roll over! Plus, as I mentioned earlier, I'm sleeping!!!! Go back to bed!
Hailey: I can't...I'm wide awake. You may not believe this, but I have a lot on my mind.
Matthew: Like what?
Hailey: Well, I can't get my thumb into my mouth. I can only roll in one direction. I think I need more formula in my bottles. I really like that rice cereal. My hair isn't growing fast enough. You're my best friend. I love Daddy and Mommy a lot. I want to play!
Matthew: Seriously? You're 4 months old and you're thinking about all of that. This is stupid. I want to go back to bed and you won't stop talking. I'm calling Mommy! WAAAAHHHHH!!!

Mommy (stumbling in all askew): You're both awake? Oh great (sarcastic)...okay, Matthew, here's your binky, go back to sleep. Hailey, did you start all of this? (big smile from Hailey and more talking) We need to go to sleep...it's 2:00 AM! Here you go...all wrapped up and ready to go to bed.
Hailey: Okay Mommy...just because I love you...next time I want to see Daddy though!

Repeat this scenario for several nights in a row...I think we've hit the 4-month sleep regression...oh great!