M: MOM!!! I FEEL LIKE CRAP!!! SOMETHING IS IN MY NOSE AND I CAN'T BREATHE AND I CAN'T SLEEP AND I CAN'T SWALLOW...SOMETHING IS WRONG MOM...PLEASE COME AND HOLD ME AND NEVER PUT ME DOWN.
Mommy: Oh, my poor baby...you must feel horrible. Let me take your temperature...yes, that's right...this is going into your butt hole.
M: ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME??? I TOLD YOU I FEEL BAD...NOT THAT I DESERVE TO BE PUNISHED!!!
Mommy: Oh, you have a temperature...my poor baby. We'll take good care of you. First, I must wipe your face continually with this tissue so that your snot doesn't run into your mouth because that's gross.
M: THAT'S GROSS? LET IT RUN AND CONCENTRATE ON HOLDING ME!!!
Mommy: Now, isn't that better? I need to sit down now because my back is about to give out.
M: SIT DOWN? I THINK NOT! I MUST BE ROCKED CONSTANTLY WITH A FULL BODY MOTION. DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT SITTING DOWN AND ROCKING ME BECAUSE I'LL KNOW THE DIFFERENCE!
Mommy: Oh, why are you crying? Here...we'll make you a bottle...
M: OKAY...THIS I LIKE!
Mommy: I'm going to put you in the bouncer for a little while because I need to use the bathroom and clean up a little bit. Oh, and there is this other baby that I'm supposed to be caring for too...just one minute.
M: NO WAY JOSE! PICK ME UP!!! PICK ME UP!!! PICK ME UP!!! PICK ME UP!!! PICK ME UP!!! PICK ME UP!!! PICK ME UP!!! PICK ME UP!!! PICK ME UP!!! PICK ME UP!!!
Mommy: Guess that's not working...how about a nap.
M: I AM QUITE TIRED, BUT I'M GOING TO SUFFER THROUGH THE ENTIRE THING UNLESS YOU LET ME FALL ASLEEP IN YOUR ARMS. OH, YOU'RE NOT GOING TO DO THAT? WELL, THEN YOU'LL BE COMING UP HERE 20 TIMES TO PUT THE PACIFIER BACK INTO MY MOUTH...
A little while longer...
M: MMMM...THAT NAP FELT GOOD. WHAT? WHY CAN'T I BREATHE!!! MOMMY SAID SHE'D MAKE ME ALL BETTER...WHY DO I STILL FEEL LIKE CRAP? CAN SOMEONE GET ME OUT OF THIS CRIB AND INTO MOMMY'S ARMS???
Mommy: Did you have a good nap? You're having a rough time, aren't you?
M: LADY, THAT'S THE UNDERSTATEMENT OF THE YEAR. AT LEAST YOU PEOPLE CAN TAKE MEDICINE...YOU EXPECT A HUMIDIFIER TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER! I THINK NOT! I NEED DRUGS...GIVE ME THE DRUGS...I NEED DRUGS!!!!
Mommy: It's time for a bath now...this should clear you out a little bit.
M: OH YEAH...JUST WHAT I NEED...TO TAKE OFF ALL OF MY CLOTHES AND SIT IN A VAT OF LUKE WARM WATER...YEAH, SOUNDS REALLY RELAXING...WAIT. WHAT'S THIS? WHAT DID YOU GUYS PUT IN THE WATER? I DON'T RECOGNIZE THAT GREEN BOTTLE...V-A-P-O-R-I-Z-I-N-G? WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? YOU KNOW WHAT? WHO CARES? IT FEELS GREAT! I CAN BREATHE AGAIN!!! WHOOPEE!
Mommy: Time to get out of the bath so I can finish up with your sister.
M: SCREW HER...I'M SICK...I GET ALL OF THE BATH TIME...NOOOOO...PUT ME BACK IN THERE!!!
Mommy: Just wait here until Daddy and I are done with Hailey.
M: I DON'T WANT THIS SOOTHIE THING! I WANT MY BATH BACK!!! PLEASE!!!!
Mommy: Okay, one more bottle and then bedtime. Oh, you got yourself so upset during your bath that you're all stuffed up again. Calm down...calm down.
M: GIVE ME THE FREAKING BOTTLE AND I'LL CALM DOWN. A COLD TAKES A LOT OUT OF ME!
Mommy: Just a little at a time...you can't breathe and drink at the same time.
M: THE HELL I CAN'T...JUST LET ME TRY...I KNOW I CAN DO IT!
Time for bed...
Mommy: Good night sweet boy...I love you.
M: YOU GUYS ARE SCREWED TONIGHT...I'LL NEVER SLEEP...STOP PUTTING THAT PACIFIER BACK IN MY MOUTH! YES, IT SOOTHES ME AND CALMS ME DOWN, BUT IF THOSE TWO HOLES ARE CLOGGED AND YOU STICK SOMETHING IN THE THIRD, I'M OUTTA OPTIONS LADY!
Mommy: Okay, I'll let you hold me hand.
M: THANKS MOM...I NEED THAT FOR A LITTLE WHILE. I JUST WANT TO KNOW YOU'RE HERE...GETTING SLEEPY...LOVE YOU MOMMY.
He woke up every hour on the hour that night, but he is fighting his way through this cold...his first. Daddy and I are now infected with whatever virus is coming out of our son (from all orifices), but Hailey is healthy as of now (knock wood). He's a good boy...he's just miserable.
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Staying In/Going Out
Tuesday Morning:
H: Matt, it's going to be crappy weather today, so we're going to stay inside...make sure to be awake as much as possible so that we can hang out with Mommy.
M: Good idea...she loves when we're awake and hates when we sleep. She doesn't want to do anything around the house anyway! She must be so sad because when she comes to get us, she smiles at us like crazy...
H: This is going to be her favorite day ever...you'd better not sleep too long!
M: Don't worry...I know how much Mommy wants to play with us all day! I won't let her down!
On Tuesday the naps lasts for 40-45 minutes and the babies wanted to be up the rest of the time. I'm not against spending time with them, but I need a break sometimes!!! In their favor, they were pleasant to be around and only got really ornery when I was at tutoring and Daddy was taking care of them.
Wednesday Morning:
H: Matt, I heard Mommy say that she wanted to get out of the house today and finish up some stuff for Christmas.
M: What? It's freaking cold out there!
H: Yeah, let's sleep for a really long time, wake up to eat, and then go back to sleep.
M: I'm with you sister!
H: Matt, it's going to be crappy weather today, so we're going to stay inside...make sure to be awake as much as possible so that we can hang out with Mommy.
M: Good idea...she loves when we're awake and hates when we sleep. She doesn't want to do anything around the house anyway! She must be so sad because when she comes to get us, she smiles at us like crazy...
H: This is going to be her favorite day ever...you'd better not sleep too long!
M: Don't worry...I know how much Mommy wants to play with us all day! I won't let her down!
On Tuesday the naps lasts for 40-45 minutes and the babies wanted to be up the rest of the time. I'm not against spending time with them, but I need a break sometimes!!! In their favor, they were pleasant to be around and only got really ornery when I was at tutoring and Daddy was taking care of them.
Wednesday Morning:
H: Matt, I heard Mommy say that she wanted to get out of the house today and finish up some stuff for Christmas.
M: What? It's freaking cold out there!
H: Yeah, let's sleep for a really long time, wake up to eat, and then go back to sleep.
M: I'm with you sister!
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Let's Get Daddy
M: Hailey, what day is it?
H: It's Tuesday...I know what you're thinking.
M: Yeah...Mommy goes to tutoring and Daddy has to do the "witching hour" with us...
H: Oh, this is going to be fun...especially since I'm not napping normally anymore. I'm exhausted and have no idea what to do with myself half the time!
M: I know...it's funny to watch them try to entertain you so you won't do that annoying cry/whine.
H: Yeah...they're wrapped around my finger.
Enter Daddy...he just got home from a long day at work and would love to get something to eat, but Mommy immediately passes off the babies and runs to get dressed. She has two errands to run before tutoring and doesn't want to be late!
Daddy stares at her in disbelief as she quickly exits the room. He proceeds to take his shirt off (doesn't want to get spit up on) and get down on the floor like a good Daddy...all the while, Brie, our dog, is basically attacking him b/c she thinks he came home specifically to walk her!
M: Oh, Daddy looks happy to see us! He's smiling...I think I'll smile back!
H: I know...I love when he comes home...a new face to smile at. I'm going to smile too. If we don't, he may just get right up and leave again!
M: No...he loves us way too much.
Mommy comes down, fully dressed now. She grabs her bag, some snacks, kisses the babies and Daddy, and heads out for 3 glorious hours of tutoring. Civilization can now welcome her back!
H: Damn...I'm hungry!
M: Me too! I don't get it...Mommy just fed us! Why are we hungry again?
H: I don't know, but I'm going to let Daddy know. WAH! WAH! WAH!!
M: He looks confused. Oh look...he's dancing...that's too funny! hahahahahahaha!!!
H: Okay, that got my mind off eating for like a second. Now he's singing? God, he's pulling out all the stops and Mommy's only been gone for a few minutes!
Daddy proceeds to play with the babies for about 45 minutes. At this point, Hailey has a complete meltdown.
H: I'm frigging exhausted...I can't control myself anymore. All I can do it cry, sob, cough, and look pitifully at Daddy.
M: It is pretty pitiful...good thing I'm still happy!
Daddy: Okay, Hailey, we're going to take a little nap now...let's go upstairs.
H: NOOOOOOOO!!!! I DONT' WANT TO GO TO SLEEP!!! WAH! WAH!! WAH!!! GET ME OUT OF THIS DAMNED CRIB!!!! WWAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
M: Hi Daddy! Do you want to play with me? I smile a lot and will listen to your singing...plus, I know that if I'm quiet, you'll let me watch SportsCenter with you...Mommy doesn't do that! Yayayayayaayyyy!!!
H: Okay, I'll sleep for like 10 minutes, but you're not going to like me when I wake up!
10 minutes later...Hailey starts wailing and Daddy goes up to get her.
M: No, Daddy...don't leave me! Don't put me in the swing!! I neeeed you!!! DADDY!!!
H: Hey buddy! Thanks for getting me out of here. I still don't know what to do with myself and I'm even hungrier b/c I spent most of the time up here trying to get out of my swaddle. I've worked up quite an appetite.
Daddy: Hi little girl...I love my Hailey. Let's go downstairs to play.
H: Play? I don't think so...we're going to eat.
M: WAH! WAH! WAH!!!! Hailey...get him to give us some food!
H: He is not getting it...he's just like Mommy sometimes. Don't they know what they're doing?
M: Apparently not!
H & M: WWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
Daddy: Guys...Mommy told me you wouldn't be ready to eat until 6:45 - 7:00. What's going on?
H & M: WWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
Daddy: Okay, I'll go make bottles...wait here for a minute.
H & M: WWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
Daddy: Here are the bottles...let's get you guys set up...oh man, I'm starving.
H: Too bad! Feed us now!
M: It's so close...why does he have to put a bib on me? I need that bottle in my mouth RIGHT NOW!!!
H: Relax dude...it's coming!
Daddy: Okay, here you go.
H & M: silence...
They win again!
H: It's Tuesday...I know what you're thinking.
M: Yeah...Mommy goes to tutoring and Daddy has to do the "witching hour" with us...
H: Oh, this is going to be fun...especially since I'm not napping normally anymore. I'm exhausted and have no idea what to do with myself half the time!
M: I know...it's funny to watch them try to entertain you so you won't do that annoying cry/whine.
H: Yeah...they're wrapped around my finger.
Enter Daddy...he just got home from a long day at work and would love to get something to eat, but Mommy immediately passes off the babies and runs to get dressed. She has two errands to run before tutoring and doesn't want to be late!
Daddy stares at her in disbelief as she quickly exits the room. He proceeds to take his shirt off (doesn't want to get spit up on) and get down on the floor like a good Daddy...all the while, Brie, our dog, is basically attacking him b/c she thinks he came home specifically to walk her!
M: Oh, Daddy looks happy to see us! He's smiling...I think I'll smile back!
H: I know...I love when he comes home...a new face to smile at. I'm going to smile too. If we don't, he may just get right up and leave again!
M: No...he loves us way too much.
Mommy comes down, fully dressed now. She grabs her bag, some snacks, kisses the babies and Daddy, and heads out for 3 glorious hours of tutoring. Civilization can now welcome her back!
H: Damn...I'm hungry!
M: Me too! I don't get it...Mommy just fed us! Why are we hungry again?
H: I don't know, but I'm going to let Daddy know. WAH! WAH! WAH!!
M: He looks confused. Oh look...he's dancing...that's too funny! hahahahahahaha!!!
H: Okay, that got my mind off eating for like a second. Now he's singing? God, he's pulling out all the stops and Mommy's only been gone for a few minutes!
Daddy proceeds to play with the babies for about 45 minutes. At this point, Hailey has a complete meltdown.
H: I'm frigging exhausted...I can't control myself anymore. All I can do it cry, sob, cough, and look pitifully at Daddy.
M: It is pretty pitiful...good thing I'm still happy!
Daddy: Okay, Hailey, we're going to take a little nap now...let's go upstairs.
H: NOOOOOOOO!!!! I DONT' WANT TO GO TO SLEEP!!! WAH! WAH!! WAH!!! GET ME OUT OF THIS DAMNED CRIB!!!! WWAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
M: Hi Daddy! Do you want to play with me? I smile a lot and will listen to your singing...plus, I know that if I'm quiet, you'll let me watch SportsCenter with you...Mommy doesn't do that! Yayayayayaayyyy!!!
H: Okay, I'll sleep for like 10 minutes, but you're not going to like me when I wake up!
10 minutes later...Hailey starts wailing and Daddy goes up to get her.
M: No, Daddy...don't leave me! Don't put me in the swing!! I neeeed you!!! DADDY!!!
H: Hey buddy! Thanks for getting me out of here. I still don't know what to do with myself and I'm even hungrier b/c I spent most of the time up here trying to get out of my swaddle. I've worked up quite an appetite.
Daddy: Hi little girl...I love my Hailey. Let's go downstairs to play.
H: Play? I don't think so...we're going to eat.
M: WAH! WAH! WAH!!!! Hailey...get him to give us some food!
H: He is not getting it...he's just like Mommy sometimes. Don't they know what they're doing?
M: Apparently not!
H & M: WWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
Daddy: Guys...Mommy told me you wouldn't be ready to eat until 6:45 - 7:00. What's going on?
H & M: WWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
Daddy: Okay, I'll go make bottles...wait here for a minute.
H & M: WWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
Daddy: Here are the bottles...let's get you guys set up...oh man, I'm starving.
H: Too bad! Feed us now!
M: It's so close...why does he have to put a bib on me? I need that bottle in my mouth RIGHT NOW!!!
H: Relax dude...it's coming!
Daddy: Okay, here you go.
H & M: silence...
They win again!
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